Work Sucks Haikus

omm nom nom nom (by Adam)

2009-11-04T14:12:00.001-05:00

I ate your Web page.
Forgive me; it was tasty
And tart on my tongue

I Call it "Being Versitile"

2009-02-17T23:49:00.002-05:00

Yay job interview!
Does changing in the bathroom
make me a hobo?

Why You Should Not Leave After 10pm

2009-02-17T23:39:00.002-05:00

Just missed the red line
Now 13 minutes to wait
Why do I work here?

A new haiku by leland.

2009-02-06T16:57:00.000-05:00

Brand new budget year!
A fresh start on business goals!
...Spreadsheets make me twitch.

So......no then?

2009-02-06T13:44:00.000-05:00

It's now 1:30;
wonder if we're having that
10am meeting...

If you only had a brain (by sarah)

2009-02-05T17:49:00.000-05:00

i have brain power!
but you want me to do what?
right, mundane tasks... fab

by sarah

The Hunt, Stealth-Mode Style

2009-02-04T18:57:00.003-05:00

Applying to jobs
while still at my current one.
I'm multi-tasking!

Tear the place down!

2009-02-04T18:42:00.002-05:00

Night! and the office,
Totally quiet, peaceful.
Let’s find a chainsaw.

This Is How We All Feel Right Now

2009-02-03T18:49:00.000-05:00

fuck that. law, blah blah
governor, democrats, blah
blah, I hate that shit

-by john

The Secret Life of Blogs

2009-02-03T10:27:00.001-05:00

Hard to write haikus
when you work in an open space.
Spies are everywhere...

Med school is work too, kinda (by Mayuri)

2009-01-30T09:02:00.000-05:00

skipping class for beer
that disease isn’t awesome
like it was on House

The Evilness Really Cannot Be Overemphasized (by Rob)

2009-01-28T17:56:00.001-05:00

Work two jobs now.
I'm still a slave to quickbooks,
only doubly so.

How Was I to Know?

2009-01-28T15:50:00.002-05:00

Apparently, when
you interview on the Hill,
snow boots are a no.

Working from Home

2009-01-28T10:09:00.002-05:00

I'm working from home,

But work still sucks! I guess it's

time for a haiku...

Case Studies: Our Special Little Babies (by John)

2009-01-28T10:01:00.004-05:00

They're retarded, yet
symbolically powerful.
Just like Trig Palin.

Illustration Contest! Illustrate Pam's Haiku! ( Winner gets a magical bag of cheetos, or some such thing.)

2009-01-27T12:06:00.004-05:00

I stay at work late
so i can get free dinner
cause I get paid shit

New Illustration by Zach! Free coffee and cup-of-soups all around!

Sad Leland

2009-01-27T12:05:00.002-05:00

Oh! Five day work week!
Haven't seen you in a while.
...Now piss off, you jerk!!!

A Poem by Chris

2009-01-25T21:11:00.000-05:00

Job cuts everywhere
Some jobs are much more stable
Lucky garbage men

I Just Never Learn

2009-01-25T20:51:00.001-05:00

Massive hangover.
No football. Ate whole pizza.
Time to line-edit!

Friday: Bigger than Jesus

2009-01-23T15:41:00.001-05:00

Friday has returned!
Trumpets ring; let all rejoice!
Salvation is here!

Une Poésie de Pamela

2009-01-23T09:03:00.002-05:00

I work for pagans
MLK day in office
those white elitists

Outlook: Not So Good

2009-01-22T14:31:00.002-05:00

You know things are bad
when you're too busy to write
more work sucks haikus.

Inauguration!

2009-01-21T17:27:00.002-05:00

Inauguration
Gave us a four day weekend!
Thanks, Prez. Obama!

On Saturdays, We Work AND We Rest

2009-01-17T17:28:00.002-05:00

I may have to work,
but at least I am watching
Hannah Montana

Waiting for Sam at the office

2009-01-16T18:57:00.000-05:00

Sam is running late,
lost in Anacostia.
I hope she survives.

I Guess It's a Good Thing

2009-01-16T17:48:00.003-05:00

Much to my surprise,
I wasn't fired today.
Secretly upset.

Deadline? (by tec)

2009-01-15T18:19:00.003-05:00

Who needs project plans?
It's not like we have deadlines.
Wait. We have deadlines!?

I GOT SKILLZ (by tec)

2009-01-15T18:10:00.004-05:00

You can't match my skillz
My skillz are unmatchable
I'm the Google champ

2008 Tax Returns

2009-01-15T14:57:00.002-05:00

It is difficult
Not to feel Republican:
W-2 time.

Things Are Bad When Federal Employment Looks Good

2009-01-14T17:46:00.001-05:00

I work past 7,
so why do I earn less than
government workers?

Consulting

2009-01-14T14:59:00.000-05:00

I'm no expert, but
I'll tell you what to do...just
let me google it.

We're Going to Need More Coffee

2009-01-14T11:29:00.001-05:00

Meet at noon. Discuss
new project. Turn it around
by 9am. FUCK.

What Can I Say, I Really Like Soup

2009-01-13T17:50:00.003-05:00

If I had some soup,
I would eat it, eat it all!
Just saying, I mean.

Hey There Coffee Friend

2009-01-13T11:21:00.002-05:00

Inevitably,
I will spill you on myself:
that's why I wear black.

JUST SAY NO TO PDFs

2009-01-12T15:53:00.003-05:00

If someone asks me
to PDF one more doc...
(sigh.) I will do it.

hard at work (by leland)

2009-01-12T14:10:00.002-05:00

thundering headache;
business acquisition plans
can go fuck themselves

Acronyms

2009-01-12T13:56:00.001-05:00

Government work means
Acronyms are everywhere
WTF!

Perseverance

2009-01-12T12:49:00.001-05:00

This salad is huge,
but I'll finish it. Rather
be ill than do work.

I Curse Your Being

2009-01-12T12:00:00.001-05:00

My comfy pillow:
no longer under my head.
Goddamn you, Monday.

Vocabulary Games for All

2009-01-12T10:07:00.002-05:00

"Quaggy" means "swampy."
"Flense" means "to strip blubber from."
Thanks, freerice.com!

Office Dance Party

2009-01-11T20:18:00.002-05:00

Tunes at the office:
Essential to sanity.
Thank you Pandora!

Timesheets

2009-01-11T20:12:00.001-05:00

Finally doing
My timesheets for the last month
On a Sunday night

Haiku from Peter

2009-01-10T12:57:00.005-05:00

Work sucks a lot, yes
Robs your soul, but worse
Is unemployment

Editing client papers

2009-01-10T12:30:00.003-05:00

Government client,

please don't learn how to write well,

lest I lose my job.

Saturday Work

2009-01-10T12:24:00.006-05:00

Saturday mornings

are for sleeping in and sex,

not for client work!

Text I Just Sent to Ari

2009-01-09T18:44:00.001-05:00

Sorry, I'll be late.
Must walk dogs and eat dinner
Still at work; sad face.

Can't Say I'm Surprised

2009-01-09T18:09:00.001-05:00

It's 6. It's Friday.
You say we have a meeting.
I die a little.

Green Energy Consulting

2009-01-09T17:31:00.001-05:00

AAAAHHHH global warming!!
Everyone do something NOW!!!
(we need new clients)

A Haiku by Leland

2009-01-09T15:48:00.002-05:00

stalking the office,
with my loud, squeaky left shoe -
terrible ninja

A Haiku from My Co-worker

2009-01-09T14:50:00.002-05:00

Wretched, spreadsheet bull.
You have destroyed my being.
I will get you yet.

I Live in Perpetual Fear

2009-01-09T14:12:00.004-05:00

I wonder what will
happen when my boss finds out
that I've done no work

Siesta Time!

2009-01-09T13:34:00.001-05:00

Corporate lunches
should come with a sombrero.
Time for siesta

Happy Hour

2009-01-09T13:18:00.003-05:00

Happy hour is
Good for team camaraderie,
‘cept when I get drunk.

Must Wake Up Earlier

2009-01-09T12:44:00.006-05:00

Sitting on the bus,
It's 9am! I'm so late!
FRIDAY MEANS BAGELS!!!!

Wednesday

2009-01-09T12:00:00.000-05:00

Three cups of coffee
before 9am meeting:
today's gonna ROCK.

A True Story

2009-01-09T11:56:00.003-05:00

On Thursday I learned
that the free soda downstairs
is not really free.

Poverty Is So In

2009-01-09T11:55:00.000-05:00

Bad economy
means no big bonus for me.
Must steal more staplers.

Please Be Careful

2009-01-09T11:51:00.000-05:00

A Word of Caution:
Do not hiccup while drinking
a can of seltzer.

Space Calendars

2009-01-09T11:42:00.003-05:00

NASA consulting
has its perks, advantages:
space calendars rock!

Ode to Tuesdays

2009-01-09T11:29:00.000-05:00

Dear Kind Employer,
I think I have a disease.
It's called apathy.