omm nom nom nom (by Adam)

I ate your Web page.
Forgive me; it was tasty
And tart on my tongue

I Call it "Being Versitile"

Yay job interview!
Does changing in the bathroom
make me a hobo?

Why You Should Not Leave After 10pm

Just missed the red line
Now 13 minutes to wait
Why do I work here?

A new haiku by leland.

Brand new budget year!
A fresh start on business goals!
...Spreadsheets make me twitch.

So......no then?

It's now 1:30;
wonder if we're having that
10am meeting...

If you only had a brain (by sarah)

i have brain power!
but you want me to do what?
right, mundane tasks... fab

by sarah

The Hunt, Stealth-Mode Style

Applying to jobs
while still at my current one.
I'm multi-tasking!

Tear the place down!

Night! and the office,
Totally quiet, peaceful.
Let’s find a chainsaw.

This Is How We All Feel Right Now

fuck that. law, blah blah
governor, democrats, blah
blah, I hate that shit

-by john

The Secret Life of Blogs

Hard to write haikus
when you work in an open space.
Spies are everywhere...

Med school is work too, kinda (by Mayuri)

skipping class for beer
that disease isn’t awesome
like it was on House

The Evilness Really Cannot Be Overemphasized (by Rob)

Work two jobs now.
I'm still a slave to quickbooks,
only doubly so.

How Was I to Know?

Apparently, when
you interview on the Hill,
snow boots are a no.

Working from Home

I'm working from home,

But work still sucks! I guess it's

time for a haiku...

Case Studies: Our Special Little Babies (by John)

They're retarded, yet
symbolically powerful.
Just like Trig Palin.

Illustration Contest! Illustrate Pam's Haiku! ( Winner gets a magical bag of cheetos, or some such thing.)

I stay at work late
so i can get free dinner
cause I get paid shit

New Illustration by Zach! Free coffee and cup-of-soups all around!

Sad Leland

Oh! Five day work week!
Haven't seen you in a while.
...Now piss off, you jerk!!!

A Poem by Chris

Job cuts everywhere
Some jobs are much more stable
Lucky garbage men

I Just Never Learn

Massive hangover.
No football. Ate whole pizza.
Time to line-edit!

Friday: Bigger than Jesus

Friday has returned!
Trumpets ring; let all rejoice!
Salvation is here!

Une Poésie de Pamela

I work for pagans
MLK day in office
those white elitists

Outlook: Not So Good

You know things are bad
when you're too busy to write
more work sucks haikus.

Inauguration!

Inauguration
Gave us a four day weekend!
Thanks, Prez. Obama!

On Saturdays, We Work AND We Rest

I may have to work,
but at least I am watching
Hannah Montana

Waiting for Sam at the office

Sam is running late,
lost in Anacostia.
I hope she survives.

I Guess It's a Good Thing

Much to my surprise,
I wasn't fired today.
Secretly upset.

Deadline? (by tec)

Who needs project plans?
It's not like we have deadlines.
Wait. We have deadlines!?

I GOT SKILLZ (by tec)

You can't match my skillz
My skillz are unmatchable
I'm the Google champ

2008 Tax Returns

It is difficult
Not to feel Republican:
W-2 time.

Things Are Bad When Federal Employment Looks Good

I work past 7,
so why do I earn less than
government workers?

Consulting

I'm no expert, but
I'll tell you what to do...just
let me google it.

We're Going to Need More Coffee

Meet at noon. Discuss
new project. Turn it around
by 9am. FUCK.

What Can I Say, I Really Like Soup

If I had some soup,
I would eat it, eat it all!
Just saying, I mean.

Hey There Coffee Friend

Inevitably,
I will spill you on myself:
that's why I wear black.

JUST SAY NO TO PDFs

If someone asks me
to PDF one more doc...
(sigh.) I will do it.

hard at work (by leland)

thundering headache;
business acquisition plans
can go fuck themselves

Acronyms

Government work means
Acronyms are everywhere
WTF!

Perseverance

This salad is huge,
but I'll finish it. Rather
be ill than do work.

I Curse Your Being

My comfy pillow:
no longer under my head.
Goddamn you, Monday.

Vocabulary Games for All

"Quaggy" means "swampy."
"Flense" means "to strip blubber from."
Thanks, freerice.com!

Office Dance Party

Tunes at the office:
Essential to sanity.
Thank you Pandora!

Timesheets

Finally doing
My timesheets for the last month
On a Sunday night

Haiku from Peter

Work sucks a lot, yes
Robs your soul, but worse
Is unemployment

Editing client papers

Government client,

please don't learn how to write well,

lest I lose my job.

Saturday Work

Saturday mornings

are for sleeping in and sex,

not for client work!

Text I Just Sent to Ari

Sorry, I'll be late.
Must walk dogs and eat dinner
Still at work; sad face.

Can't Say I'm Surprised

It's 6. It's Friday.
You say we have a meeting.
I die a little.

Green Energy Consulting

AAAAHHHH global warming!!
Everyone do something NOW!!!
(we need new clients)

A Haiku by Leland

stalking the office,
with my loud, squeaky left shoe -
terrible ninja

A Haiku from My Co-worker

Wretched, spreadsheet bull.
You have destroyed my being.
I will get you yet.

I Live in Perpetual Fear

I wonder what will
happen when my boss finds out
that I've done no work

Siesta Time!

Corporate lunches
should come with a sombrero.
Time for siesta

Happy Hour

Happy hour is
Good for team camaraderie,
‘cept when I get drunk.

Must Wake Up Earlier

Sitting on the bus,
It's 9am! I'm so late!
FRIDAY MEANS BAGELS!!!!

Wednesday

Three cups of coffee
before 9am meeting:
today's gonna ROCK.

A True Story

On Thursday I learned
that the free soda downstairs
is not really free.

Poverty Is So In

Bad economy
means no big bonus for me.
Must steal more staplers.

Please Be Careful

A Word of Caution:
Do not hiccup while drinking
a can of seltzer.

Space Calendars

NASA consulting
has its perks, advantages:
space calendars rock!

Ode to Tuesdays

Dear Kind Employer,
I think I have a disease.
It's called apathy.